Give Women What They Want

55

By KateWest

Or How About Giving Us What We Need?

It’s simple - women need attention. And affection. Don’t we all? I’m not saying to give in to neediness. The main thing is, women need to feel special. So, how do you make us feel this way?

Well, basically by telling the truth. Are you the male office flirt? Don’t you think that we hear you giving the same tired lines to more than one of us? If you really want to get to know a woman, you need to be sincere about getting to know her specifically. You know what I mean – you actually care what she thinks and feels. Trust me, we’ll pick up on that right away. And the rewards are amazing – guaranteed. But if you’re just trying to get laid, then forget the deep, soulful act and make it clear right away that you’re not open to a relationship. The worst thing you can do is to lead us on with promises of some commitment you have no intention of following through on. Where do you think our neediness comes from anyway? From too many lies from too many guys. No one wants to feel used.

Once you start dating, please continue that admirable streak of honesty. If it’s not working out, don’t just stop calling. In spite of all of our recently acquired tough love, he’s just-not-that-into-you wisdom, really, a clear explanation does help us disentangle ourselves. Making excuses and outright lying only creates more confusion. And potential stalking. It drives us crazy not to know. And if you’re lucky enough to truly be excited by us (as in awww, look at those crazy kids, he just loves being around his girl) for God’s Sake, let us know! None of us are mind readers. It’s nice to know we matter. The key is always communication, which naturally leads to fewer misunderstandings. Something we all strive for, no?

One more important thing to remember – holidays. To you, Valentine’s Day is a blatant marketing ploy to sell cards and flowers. O.K. that’s true, but who cares? If it makes your girl smile, just buy her the damn roses. Principles get in the way of love. Compromises and concessions make up relationships. This doesn’t mean you lose your sense of self and submerge your identity. It means you love her enough to let go of the smaller details that don’t matter in the bigger picture. You trust each other. You have real confidence in being your true selves around each other and you aren’t afraid. Fear wrecks many a couple and it usually comes from lack of … you guessed it, communication.

Bottom line? Talk to us. We love talking, as you well know. We won’t do it too much since we know you hate talking about your feelings. Just promise not to hide anything. If we don’t trust you, it won’t work.

Comments

Just_Rodney profile image

Just_Rodney Level 3 Commenter 9 months ago

Grteat hub, and points made that are very true and are worth remembering. So we need to be very much in touch witj the Female side of of us in this tightrope wope walk of romanca and dating, while the female, wel the can skip and skim them the surface of their male sides with impunity?

No wonder LIFE, LOVE and all good things is sssssssooooooooo much fun!

BTW Great hub.

fibo777 profile image

fibo777 Level 1 Commenter 15 months ago

Yes, ladies have a strong need to be listened to. I can see it on my wife. Attention makes them blossom. Thanks for reminding it. Good hub.

acaetnna profile image

acaetnna Level 6 Commenter 18 months ago

Really great hub, thanks for sharing.

De Greek profile image

De Greek Level 2 Commenter 23 months ago

Well, Young Kate you have made some excellent points here which I now wish I had included in my own tongue-in-cheek "Advice to Youth" series. However, there are a couple of inaccuracies, if I may respectfully point out. Women will stalk even if a man is specific and detailed in his explanation why he wants an affair to end. Changing locks is the only way to keep a woman out and even then, constant driving around the house and the workplace becomes a nightmare. As to talking, contrary to what women seem to believe, we like to talk on occasion, but we like to talk of books, daily events, politics and abstract subjects such as ethics. Talk to us about your girlfriends, celebrities and make up, and we simply want to disappear into the woodwork :-)

KateWest profile image

KateWest Hub Author 2 years ago

Me too, thanks!

stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago

Owww great Hub! I hope men take this advice from you!

KateWest profile image

KateWest Hub Author 2 years ago

Right. Don't purposely make someone feel bad. Leading someone on with false hope just because it makes you feel uncomfortable to tell the truth, however - totally different story.

Carson Creek profile image

Carson Creek 2 years ago

You got that right!!!

Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago

Kate sadly these may be total revelations to some men. And to Carson the only time honesty is a bad idea is when you get hit with the "Is my butt getting too big" question, then lie like a dog.

Carson Creek profile image

Carson Creek 2 years ago

Is complete honesty...and I mean complete, the best approach to a long lasting relaitonship?

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Comments

RedElf profile image

RedElf Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago

Nice hub! You really hit the nail right on the head - communication and respect are always the key! Thanks so much.

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