Another Female's Look at Porn

67

By KateWest

Controversial?

Maybe. But I'm not going to get into historical depictions of the sexual act here. I'm just going to give you my perspective. If that's alright.

We all know men and women view (or feel) sex differently. And that's just it. Men are visual and women are sensual. Generally speaking, of course. This is all general, by the way. And again it's simply my perspective. So no need to present examples of exceptions.

I think there is a lot of fear, too much fear maybe, over this whole business. Granted, exploitation isn't fun for anyone, but I'm talking about consenting adults here. Professionals who chose this way to make a living. It's a pretty basic form of entertainment (and stimulation, right?) - perhaps the most basic. So why the fear?

Many women are uncomfortable when their men watch porn since the triple-x stars are naturally (to use the term waaay loosely) endowed to fulfill a male fantasy. And most porn is for men (you remember I said generally?) Some women get off on it too, so to speak, but we don't require all that much in the visual stimulation - we just need a little creative imagination to blossom and we'll ride those waves of feeling all the way home. Soft core will do. For most of us, anyway.

Hey, if you're really worried about your man being dissatisfied, maybe you should talk to him about it before feeling threatened by mere fantasy. Porn addiction is something else and covered extensively elsewhere in this blogosphere, so let's just stick to the average porn fans, shall we?

I can only speak for myself and say that it doesn't bother me. My father used to read PLAYBOY and none of us cared. My parents were always pretty open about human sexuality and so thankfully none of us have complexes about it (as far as I know). It used to bug me when my S.O. (when I had one, that is) would mention a crush on a celeb, but I had them too, so wasn't he allowed? So then I realized that when he watches porn, he's not rejecting me, he's simply following a more primal instinct toward fantasy, knowing full well it isn't reality (watch those who get those confused, however). Plenty of "swingers" are comfortable with alternative lifestyles and good for them - I'm not one of them. So no ménage à trois for me. But a little give and take in the role playing, sure. I know what I like and what my limits are and as long as the two of you communicate that, what's the problem?

Is it safe to say, generally speaking again of course, that more men are into porn and more women are into erotica? You know the difference, right?

Kate West Reviews

Online Hub Pages Since June 2008

All Rights Reserved

Comments

debbiepinkston profile image

debbiepinkston Level 3 Commenter 7 weeks ago

My husband says that most porn doesn't appeal to him because it's so poorly and cheaply made, and you always know the outcome...no surprises there!

My concern is about the fact that some men would prefer porn and their own hand over being intimate with their wife. Also, viewing porn for both men and women, can give us fake ideas of what's normal and real. We may come to expect our S.O. to behave or look like the porn stars. We may also become dissatisfied with our S.O. because they may not feel comfortable doing everything that we have seen online. A study was done years ago about the relationship between porn viewing and sexual satisfaction in marriage. Sexual satisfaction questionnaries were given before and after the subjects were instructed to view a certain number of hours of porn over a period of time. The higher the number of hours the subjects viewed porn, the greater difference in their before/after scores on the questionnaire. It seems that they began to think that what they were viewing was the standard by which they should evaluate their love-making at home. Not only were they dissatisfied with the sex itself, but they were less satisfied with their wife's body and physical attributes.

Just food for thought.

Mary Stuart profile image

Mary Stuart Level 3 Commenter 7 weeks ago

I agree. Porn, in general, is aimed at men. I have met women who are deep into porn but not so much as men. Great hub.

Jynzly profile image

Jynzly Level 4 Commenter 3 months ago

Hi Kate,

I like your being candid of the porn subject and you express it perfectly. But I am just 100% anti porn. If I know my husband is into porn then I will let him go for good; let him spend the rest of his cum masturbating with sluts, present or fantasy...I am out, there are lots of wholesome men out there who can only have perfect sex with wholesome and dignified women, as oppose to loose women...I value human dignity and honor.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude...like you I am also straightforward in my statement...Nothing is personal...

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett Level 3 Commenter 10 months ago

Kate....I write the stories under "Larkin Williamson" on a site called "Short fiction." They are mingled in with my horror and sci fi works. Thanks. :) My favorite is "Passions."

KateWest profile image

KateWest Hub Author 10 months ago

I'll have to check those out, thanks!

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett Level 3 Commenter 10 months ago

You hit this nail on the head. Men are absolutely visual. Women are absolutely sensual. I write erotic romance stories and many women who read them...leave positive, emotional comments.

KateWest profile image

KateWest Hub Author 10 months ago

Thanks. I guess the essential is - whatever works for you and your partner, right?

TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants Level 7 Commenter 10 months ago

I dunno. Porn has to be believable in order to work for me. Don't get me wrong, I've watched it. It's just that it's the same acts in almost the same sequence every time, with crazy screaming orgasims 100% And these messy face shots? Once in a while maybe, but crap .. I think I did that once when I was drunk, and if I remember right, my girlfriend wasn't too happy. Kind of disrespectful actually. I'd get disgusted it she stopped all a sudden, junmped up and messed up my face, then walked off. Didn't mean to break it down that way. I just can't stand things that are fake I guess. I've got to be the odd one out though, it's a billion dollar industry. Great hub by the way. Up, useful and awesome!

jim

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